Reply to Bar mitzvah invitation expectations/etiquette

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My 13 yo is starting to get a bunch of bar mitzvah invitations, and I am not sure what the etiquette is here (we are not Jewish).  The outer envelopes are addressed to him individually and there is no indication inside the invitation that it includes any other family members.  I barely know the parents (we've met, but never had more than brief conversations), so I wouldn't necessarily expect anyone other than him to be invited but for the logistics of the events.  For instance, one in front of me has a service at 10 am at the temple and then a reception that I assume immediately follows (the invitation doesn't give a time, it just says "celebrate with us following the service at...") at a location 20 minutes away from the temple.  Obviously he can't drive himself from the service to the reception site, so is it assumed a parent will attend with him?  I could just ask the parents, but don't want to put them in an awkward spot if there's something I'm overlooking here.  Thanks![/quote]

OP,
There isn’t really a hard and fast end time to services. Think about if your child were going to a school play or graduation. It’s that kind of situation where you can absolutely ask the hosts about a general time you should plan to pick up your child. It would not be rude at all to ask so you can coordinate logistics. Often if the party is directly after services at a different location, families will arrange a bus for the 13 year old friends. I wouldn’t assume this, but they may give you this info after they collect all their Yes rsvps and know how many they are transporting. 
I would really think twice about declining the invite entirely like some PPs have suggested simply due to a little confusion over logistics. These kids study and work so hard to prepare for this big day. It means a lot to them to have their friends there supporting them and celebrating their accomplishment. 
Do not hesitate to ask questions about logistics, attire, etc. We do not expect non-Jews to know the ins and outs of our customs, just as we would not know the ins and outs of other religious ceremonies, etc.[/quote]

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