Reply to Is a "top" school district really the right choice for special needs kids?

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Reply to "Is a "top" school district really the right choice for special needs kids?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the top school systems have more of the resources and experience to do SN well.  I don’t think a school system that has trouble educationing NT students can do SNs well.

My DS with ASD/ADHD, combined type, attended a DC immersion charter and while they tried their best, it was subpar.  The main issue being that while they gave us everything our neuropsych recommended in the IEP, the overall education in English and Math wasn’t great and DS was fully mainstreamed, got As and 5s in PARCC.

Now DS goes to a top mainstream private in MA after catching up and fixing holes in his English and Math when we were homeschooling for a year due to COVID.

I think you should go to the best school system possible.  At least there you know the education is good.  Why would you expect a school system that doesn’t do education well to be better with SNs?[/quote]

I agree with you that I'm definitely not considering "bad" or "subpar" school systems.  I'm really trying to compare the good one (e.g., Bethesda or Potomac) with the very top one nationwide (Lexington MA, Scarsdale NY or Short Hills NJ). Would the very top ones be too competitive while the good one is the right balance for an ASD + ADHD kid?  Any thought is appreciated.

Even more interestingly, you mentioned your DS is doing well in the mainstream private. Can I ask how did you manage that? My DS is currently in a small and warm mainstream private Pre-K class. He is very happy there, although is not gaining too much social skills. The reason we are thinking about leaving is because our developmental pd thinks the mainstream private classroom doesn't really know how to support an ASD + ADHD kid and thus recommends us to add an 1:1 aide for DS in school for a year or so to help improving DS's social skills and self-regulation skills, however the school is not very willing to accommodate the 1:1 aide.  That's why we are considering public schools instead.  Do you mind talk a little bit, in your opinion, what kind of mainstream private is good for ASD + ADHD kid?  Of course maybe your DS is more high functioning than mine currently, so maybe we just need to get our DS some strong support for a year or two before sending him back to another mainstream private ...

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My kid is in middle school.  At this point he doesn’t need any services, meds or accommodations.  DS was diagnosed with ASD/Asperger’s when he was four and ADHD, combined type when he was 7.  He was fully mainstreamed with IEP prek-5 at a dual language immersion charter.  At this point, I doubt he would get an ADHD diagnosis if he had another neuropsych eval:  He has no academic issues, has excellent executive functioning and is a top student.  Granted his ADHD was mostly hyperactive not impulsive or inattentive.  DS gets along well with peers and has friends.

If your child is happy at his preschool, let him stay there.  The one on one aid isn’t going to do much of anything with helping with social skills.  I am presuming your child is fine with adults and the issue is with peers. Keep your kid at the school if he is happy!

I am not sure what mainstream private would be the best for your DS.  While I complain about my kid’s immersion charter, they were great about providing supports and services through the IEP including OT, pragmatic speech, social skills classes, PT, etc.  We only used school provided services except for a few months, 4?, of private OT.  I am not sure if these services were helpful to be honest.  The most helpful was DS having a wonderful, warm, nurturing SN teachers/case manager in some of those years and OT which taught DS to type on a laptop starting in 2nd grade.  School OT also taught him to tie his shoes, buttons, zippers, utensils, etc.

As I said, the education in English especially in writing and Math was poor and DS was in the top reading and math groups throughout elementary school.

Since your DC is little, your main concern should be how much he likes his school and it sounds like he does.  I would keep him there and not bother with the 1:1 aid unless the school thinks he needs one.

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Really appreciate your inputs. Part of me definitely agree with you (why bother change since DS is happy right now). But … our developmental pd strongly recommend adding 1:1 aide if we stay at the current private, and part of me agree with that. The school is very nice and warm and DS is happy, but there is no SN support: there is no teacher with SN background and no speech and OT therapy integrated in the school day (all we can do is to add some speech and OT therapy after school). As a result, DS’s social & communicative skills as well as self-regulation skills are not getting improved fast enough. Our dev pd recommended either staying at current school but adding an 1:1 aide as well as integrated speech/OT in the classroom, or going to a good public with IEP, or going to an “SN lite” private where at least classroom teachers have SN background (unfortunately “SN lite” privates are very rare and they are all full).  At the current school I’m not sure I can be allowed to add the 1:1 aide or classroom speech/OT for DS for long. Yes it’s possible I’m overreacting and DS doesn’t need 1:1 aide at all and he will grow out of all the issues by himself.  However I also think early intervention for ASD is important and DS is already entering K so I probably should not do “let’s wait and see” any more.  I’m just trying to show you my perspectives. Let me know your thoughts - thanks a million.

On a separate note, what do you think help your DS transitioning from ASD/ADHD to where he is right now? The way I read it, it’s either time (he simply grows out of it) or it’s that wonderful SN teacher?  Then we probably should get our DS to a place where he can be supported by some SN educator / teacher?
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For K, I would move to a top school system that does inclusion well and get your child an IEP.  I would not move him to a SN private or a SN lite private without trying mainstream with IEP first at a good school.  Main thing I would look for in a school:  warm, nurturing SN teachers in the classroom (co-teaching with the main teacher) especially if you are doing mainstreamed with IEP.  Having the SN teacher in the classroom is way better than a 1:1 aide, better for the entire class actually.  Smaller class size for inclusive classes.  The school should provide OT, speech, etc as pull outs and provide all the services and accommodations at school as part of a regular school day.

Newton, MA is also great like Lexington.  You want to go to a school system with sophisticated parents who already did the heavy lifting and got their kids with ASD/ADHD what they needed from their school system:  Wealthy school systems are best with this as are progressive Blue states and MA is the bluest.

My kid still has ASD/Asperger’s:).  It’s not something you outgrow.  His grandfather also likely had it and he lived a successful, contented life without a diagnosis or anything so I am not surprised that DS does fine with a diagnosis and aware of his issues.  It’s maturity and time that helped a lot as well as “just having the awareness” - DS is very smart, self aware, very self motivated, confident and happy.  I personally think happiness in school counts for a lot too.  DS was never bullied, had friends and always got along with peers even when he did not always get along with adults.

Good luck!

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Many many thanks! [/quote]

You are welcome:). As an example my kid’s kindergarten class had a head teacher, assistant teacher and the SN teacher in a classroom of 17 kids.  Better than most private schools in DC:). [/quote]

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