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[quote=Anonymous]You were me 17 years ago, except the man I was dating went to church almost every Sunday, said the blessing at mealtimes, etc. You need to be very honest with him about your positions. I thought about breaking up, but was really having a wonderful time with a wonderful person. I was very honest about my views — I don’t think the world was created in 7 days, I don’t think my non-Christian friends will burn in hell, I don’t think homosexuality is a sin, I won’t attend a church that doesn’t have female leadership, etc. Ultimately, I did agree to participate in active churchgoing. We started attending church together while dating and shopped around for a church I was comfortable with. I have come to enjoy the various things we participate in through church and I see why there is comfort in belief in a higher power. I have major criticisms of “the church” and how it can be used as a weapon. But the actual church I attend seems on balance to do much more good than harm.

The reality is that he is much less religious married to me than he would have been if he married someone deeply religious. I also really believed that we ultimately had the same values.

We have been happily married for 15 years. But I also know that I am lucky that I was right about the underlying values being the same. He could have become a crazy right wing, trump loving zealot. But he didn’t. If I had been wrong, we would likely be divorced.[/quote]

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