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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Yes, there are other people or things more important for her this visit.  Doesn't make her the uncaring person you are painting.  Take a deep breath and step back, you are being incredibly self absorbed. [/quote]

I don’t think she’s an uncaring person at all. Fully realize that I’m also not the only relative / friend she has in this area. But yes, [b]would have hoped to have been on a short list for some time with her[/b] outside of an event where I think more than 50 people are in attendance. Certainly if the roles were reversed I would have made it a priority to see her. But I am recognizing that I may be overestimated my place in her life … which is ok. I appreciate the perspective of the other PP who suggests I don’t burn a bridge and go to the gathering.[/quote]

NP. OP, if you knew she was coming, have you suggested meeting up separately? Or are you expecting her to take all the initiative? The "I would have hoped to have been on a short list" statement really puts everything on HER when she might have a lot on her plate you don't know about. Do you see that?

You said you "found out" she was coming to this event. Possibly she did not tell you immediately or up front because she didn't want to hurt your feelings, since maybe it's an event where she has to be there for others in the family--depending on the event, she may know (when you don't) that she will be expected to help with something, or keep an eye on Aunt So-and-So, or whatever. You're (a) putting all the onus on [i]her[/i] to initiate seeing you, and you're (b) thinking about your own feelings and not considering that maybe there are circumstances around this event about which you are unaware. Can you step back from the emotion and see that even if she'd love to see you, she may need to conserve her time and energy on this one trip and had to make choices? Why would you tchoose to think the worst of her ("she doesn't want to see me, I don't matter enough to her") rather than think the best of her ("It's a big deal to get to an event like this and maybe the other relatives need her for something")?

This is very you-focused. Go, enjoy the event, tell her "Hey, next time you're here let's get together" and mean it, and don't guilt her. Someone above said to pull away from her after this but that's nonsense. If you and she click, you click, and you need to be a bit more objective about this visit. It's not all about rejecting you; it's probably about focusing on something else. And you might not know what that is.

TL; DR version: [i]Give her the benefit of the doubt.[/i] Assume this is not about you, or your relationship. Do not guilt her and do not overthink this. Do not end what sounds like a lovely relationship over this.[/quote]

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