Reply to S/o how do you have change your parenting approach to go from 2 to 3 kids successfully?

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Reply to "S/o how do you have change your parenting approach to go from 2 to 3 kids successfully?"

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[quote=Anonymous]I have three, and thought that other post was really annoying haha. But I didn't comment on it. DH and I both work full time but from home. I have no family nearby. I think we are pretty happy! Definitely not miserable and whining about how hard and terrible everything is. Our kids are 6/4/2.  For us I guess

1) Like others, very structured in some ways (sleep, mealtimes, morning and evening routines etc) and pretty unstructured in others (not a ton of commitments to activities, a lot of time to play together

2) I teach my kids independence and am always explaining why we are doing stuff. Makes age 2 harder but pays off more and more every year after. My two year old can put on her socks/shoes/coat/hat. My 4 year old gets dressed independently with no information except for 'how cold is it today?' Basically we're constantly putting them in control of what they can safely be in control of. We have a snack drawer with healthy foods they can reach, drinks in a middle drawer, they can use the water dispenser on the fridge, they know how to use the TV remote, this type of stuff. This independence also goes to play, the 6 and 4 year old can play very well with basically no supervision. The 2 year old is still working on it. But they can think of stuff to do and they can play together well.

3) DH and I make time for each other. We have 1-2 date nights a month. We have sex once a week at least. We talk to each other and touch each other. This means we like each other and so we are a rock solid supportive teammate to one another. Always picking up each other's slack where needed, proactively looking for what needs to be done and not resenting each other. More work isn't so hard when you have a really good team member helping you get through it.

4) We don't do a ton of stuff like eat at restaurants or that kind of thing that is hard with three kids, but we don't NEVER do those things. So when stuff comes up that is unexpected, or when we have to travel, the kids understand the score and can go with it, even if it isn't an everyday or even every month occurrence.

5) I always take a different kid with me on the weekends to target/grocery store. Helps build more one on one with both mom and dad.

6) When we do an activity we try to get them all or 2/3 in there, like two kids are both in swim on Saturday morning.

7) I do try to let them go to as many birthday parties and playdates as possible, so they can feel like their own people, but don't stress if they can't. And I let them go to playdates without me. The four year old just started going to his friend's house after preschool and I'm not there. I know the parents, checked it out etc, but once I'm confident in something, I am comfortable letting out the leash a little.

8) Talk ALL the time about family being important, loving each other/etc but I never ask the older one to parent. I am an oldest girl and was a pseudo parent to my siblings and really feel very strongly about not passing that on. EVERYONE gets responsibilities, no one is ever in charge of 'watching' someone else. [/quote]

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