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[quote=Anonymous]to get back to your original question: things changed during my second pregnancy--our family life was more tiring, DH also had work stress-- and I realized that DH was not always going to initiate and sometimes was going to be "too tired" (Hey, that's my line!). after dealing with my feelings of rejection (and realizing that now the shoe was on the other foot), I would initiate when I wanted to be intimate and didn't get ruffled when it didn't happen--which also helped when the situation was reversed since neither of us felt that we were always the one to initiate or get turned down, etc. One good thing is that we had a serious discussion about intimacy and how we didn't want it to get totally lost in the day to day of our lives, so we are at least on the same page about finding time, which usually means turning off the computers, etc, and getting into bed ridiculously early. Also, while I don't tell DH this, I basically take the attitude that unless I'm really, really freaking exhausted or sick, I don't turn down his approaches since I think having sex with one's spouse is a good thing to do, and most of the time I get into it pretty fast and even if I don't, if DH is satisfied, I am happy with that (not as an overall balance in our sex life, but just saying that I can be happy getting him off and going to bed, it doesn't have to be 50/50 all the time). I figure its cheaper and easier and more fun than couples therapy. Plus, we're fairly well matched in terms of frequency of desire--if he wanted sex daily, I might be turning him down more. [/quote]

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