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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Dh has a very demanding job and earns a seven figure income. I am currently a SAHM with 3 kids and I handle everything with the kids and household. Dh wakes up and goes to work. His hours are unpredictable so I can never depend on him for any after school or evening kid activities. If he gets home early, he will take kids to sports and activities. He also does most of the kid sports on weekends.

If one parent has a big job, how much does that parent contribute to the household tasks?

I would like to go back to work but I have 3 kids in 3 different schools and I have a hard enough time juggling their schedules and I don’t even work.

My friend who has two young kids implied I am just making excuses. Her husband is also busy, unpredictable schedule and travels for work. She handles all kid and household tasks but has a flexible work from home job. Her kids don’t do any activities.

If I went back to work, I would still have to handle everything related to the kids and house. I wouldn’t just be able to wake up and go to work the way Dh does and I would need to handle all the logistics of the kids in the afternoon.[/quote]

My husband is exactly the same way.  If he is home, he jumps in, but his schedule is unpredictable, and I can’t ever rely on him to do anything.

Frankly, it has been easier for me to work full time and figure out childcare when he moved to do a fellowship and wasn’t home at all.  At least then I could give my nanny predictable hours to work.  
After I moved with him, I tried to keep working full time, but we struggled keeping nannies because he would show up late to relieve them or (more often), he would be home and the kids would be more difficult to take care of.  
I ended up working part time.  I worked during the school day when the kids were younger, then took a job working one evening/wk during the pandemic.  I work every Friday evening from 4pm-1am.  Usually, DH comes home and they go out to dinner, then watch a movie before bed.  It’s happened a couple of times that he couldn’t get out of work, so he had dinner sent to the house and the kids put themselves to bed.  It’s not ideal, but it is what it is.  
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