Reply to I ruined my marriage with my soulmate

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[quote=Anonymous]There is this pattern for some men:

Treat a woman poorly. Assume she won't leave. Externalize your feelings of shame and low self-esteem by transforming them into anger and disgust with other people, particularly the primary woman in your life. Feel a little bit better -- temporarily -- by cheating on the woman, and/or expressing your disgust for some aspect of their personality or body directly, and/or simple fits of rage about trivial matters. Be surprised when she leaves.

Be consumed by guilt over the process. Externalize those feelings again by placing your shame and self-loathing out there and making other people deal with it by expressing in detail how depressed you are, how hard this is for you, and often suicidal ideation. Make other people deal with it. Don't actual change, but wallow in the negative feelings and express them in greater and greater detail.

Rinse and repeat.

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Don't know if this is you, OP, but take a good look at it.

The way out of this is to deal with your own emotions and the consequences of your actions in therapy. It's hard, and it doesn't feel good, but it means dealing with it instead of just vomiting it all over other people for attention and to (somewhat paradoxically) avoid responsibility AGAIN.[/quote]

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