Reply to Family roles: Golden child, black sheep, middle child

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[quote=Anonymous]I don’t know who is what in our family — youngest might be the black sheep  — although never really rebelled, they followed a career path that was not parent approved (not a doctor, scientist or an engineer).   Ironically the oldest, probably the golden child, and I, quintessential middle child, started off in an “approved” career, then shifted to law and business.

Assuming Golden Child isn’t necessarily favorite, I would say my oldest sibling is that — lots of pressure to perform, but more coddled and supported.  And unfortunately, thought of as the victim of circumstances by our parents and themselves (circumstances are NOT rough, I’m talking not making employee of the month and having a little bit of in law trouble).    Even now, any missteps by the eldest are supposed to be met with understanding, whereas they would likely not be tolerated

I’m middle — definitely overlooked when I was younger, but I was FINE with that, kept the criticism at bay.  I am considered the emotionally “strong one” though.  There were times I was miserable at school/socially as a kid/teenager, and my parents discussed this amongst themselves, then decided they didn’t need to worry about it because I was “tough” (I found this out a few years ago, when my mom was trying to make it sound like a good thing, later when it sunk in, I realized that I wanted to scream at her that maybe I didn’t want to have to be ‘tough’ (reader, I was NOT tough).   As an adult, it means my parents haven’t swooped in and fixed things like they have for my siblings, because I’m much more independent.  But it also means that I was the strong arm/heavy when they were in a health crisis and needed more care than they would accept.   Oldest was no where to be seen and youngest was trying, but had a lot going on in their own life. 
 
Let’s just say that Luisa in Encanto REALLY resonated with me.
 
Youngest is/was also coddled, but has grown up a lot in the last few years.  I’m proud of them for pushing back against the smothering of our parents, but I also worry they feel like they are the odd man out at times.

Apparently Middle Children also write far too long posts as well…[/quote]

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