Reply to Family roles: Golden child, black sheep, middle child

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]In a family where one is supposed to be the golden child, the other the black sheep, and the forgotten middle child.  Except the golden child, in real life, has been a bit of a mess. In and out of rehab, hospitalized in the psych ward, divorced, etc.

But the way the mom talks about the golden child and brags about him makes him sound like a shining example. Is it possible for the golden child to be a bit of a mess?

The black sheep, after some pretty dark and stormy times, has ironically become the most successful in life, but only after going no contact with the parents.[/quote]

The role of the golden child is to lie and cover up the mess in the family to outsiders.  The black sheep doesn’t cover up anything and is hated for it.  
Your mom is probably codependent and thrives on covering up for someone who is a mess.  That is her role in life.  She probably did it with your (conspicuously absent in this post) dad for decades, and now she is doing it with your sibling.

You sound kind of jealous of your sibling, but I think it would be painful to have your mother reject and ignore the difficult periods of your life?  Or to know that you can never really measure up to how she sees you, but at the same time being terrified to let her down.  The psych ward?  Was your sibling suicidal, and now just goes along with however your mom spins it?  I can’t imagine being that low and having my mom just pretending everything is fine.  I would rather have her angry.  (I’m guessing that you would too…that’s why you aren’t the Golden Child).  [/quote]

Not the poster you are responding to, but thank you for the insight. Our GC does just that. She covers up, lies and keeps up appearances. I am gaslit for only speaking the truth. My GC sibling fed their egos by succeeding in the areas they valued, but she is a trainwreck, because of her failings  in areas they didn't value (kindness, getting along with others, good character).[/quote]

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