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[quote=Anonymous]I'm a PP.

I would also feel resentful in your situation. There's also a question of priorities - "making a difference" is great, but ultimately being such a do-gooder that you are sacrificing your family is not right, although I don't think he thinks of it that way.

I continue to think that the two -home insufficiency and work situation - should be viewed as separate issues.

His deficiencies at home, which sound consistent with a person who tends towards disorganization and distraction AND has no practice because everyone does these tasks for him. And that has to be managed through practice and development of skills. With patience, kindness, reminders, reinforcement, slowly increasing his responsibility. Especially if his bad cooking is due to forgetting it on the stove and burning it.

His work situation.... I think there are two issues there too. One is his time, and what he prioritizes, and one is the money, which are maybe two conversations you should have? If you have true financial issues, a lot of debt or not enough savings or problematic spending.... That can be addressed together. And also own how much is your money anxiety due to upbringing vs grave money issues?

And then there's the unavailability and taking on extra work for no extra money at the expense of the family.

Relatedly, you might like this blog post about class differences in married couples, which may or may not resonate with you, but it did with me because I have elements of the class difference issue in my marriage, though very differently than you (for me it's about who thinks who is kind of spoiled):

https://www.drpsychmom.com/2017/10/01/class-differences-marriage/[/quote]

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