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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think the bigger issue here is what kind of surgery, why, and what the benefit is of all these appointments for a very elderly man with dementia.  Maybe it's time for the family to levelset the goals for your father's care, because many doctors will let you treat everything and anything to really no end or purpose, just a whole lot of suffering.[/quote]
I know that this wasn't your question, OP.  But I have to somewhat agree with the above comment.  I always make a point to ask "What would happen if we do nothing".  If the reply is something like, "well, there is a chance that x,y,z could happen", and if x,y,z aren't things that would cause immediate consequences or pain... then I would just take my chances.  There is so much over-treatment and low-level Medicare fraud for seniors in the US, that you really have to make a point of asking these questions.  Is your father likely to live a long high-quality life with these treatments and appointments?  If so, then by all means pursue.  If they are unlikely to change his situation, you may simply be putting your mother through unneeded stress and prolonging suffering for your father.  Perhaps less "treatment" will result in a higher quality of life for both of your parents.[/quote]

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