Reply to How to deal with friends who make different school choices?

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Reply to "How to deal with friends who make different school choices?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]If you're not disparaging your friends' choices, then you're really NOT like the OPs friend.  Making different choices is fine, it's the criticizing of others' choices that's uncool.[/quote]

I don't think that's the problem OP is facing. She is being criticized not by an overt &quot;I don't think you're making the right choice&quot; but by a covert &quot;look how bad DCPS is&quot;. I think it's best to respond in an overt manner. If you care that she remains your friend then you can say something like: &quot;Look, I understand that by pointing out the flaws of our school and DCPS in general you're trying to send me the message that I'm making the wrong decision. But understand that... [add whatever others have mentioned about moving on].&quot;

Maybe also consider the following to be at issue here:
- Deep down she is unsure that shelling out private or footing a terrible commute will be worthwhile but her husband/family convinces her that this is the way to go. So she may hope to change your mind to alleviate some cognitive dissonance she experiences. --&gt; try to get a feel for that, maybe there are conflicts she'd want to talk about with a friend
- She understands that family friendships tend to be intimately linked to schools and really cares about your friendship or that among the children. --&gt; move on or show that you're serious about keeping up a friendship beyond your mutual school choices by inviting her over or out
- She may truly want to engage you. --&gt; Invite her to come check out the choice you've made.[/quote]

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