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Reply to "When you have no local family and no village"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am not in your situation exactly because although we don't live near any family, we've created a robust village, but I do have three suggestions for you if I may. [b]For whatever reason, you have not connected with people despite living there ten years. In some way, your personality or your lifestyle or SOMETHING makes people not feel close to you. [/b]So what I suggest, is hire a part time after school nanny who will facilitate friendships. Nannies are friends with each other and they get "their" kids together. My other suggestion is, check your communication. Make sure you're asking for what you need. If you're just like "Yeah Phil is sick and I have a huge presentation tomorrow and my kids are bouncing off the walls" you're not saying you need help. If you said that to me I'd just be like "yeah being a busy working mom is hard and chaotic." But if you posted on Facebook "So, Phil has been sick in bed over a week and I've been working until past midnight each night and don't even have time to go food shopping - can anyone help by dropping off some things tomorrow?," then someone could say "Hey I'm going food shopping tomorrow - text me the top ten things you need and I'll send my husband to drop them off tomorrow night." Lastly, throw money at the problem. Hire someone to watch the kids for two hours a day, hire a cleaning person twice a month, etc. [/quote] I’m sorry but I do have to agree with this. For whatever reason, the connections that you have made in your community appear to be only skin deep, and this is something to evaluate. Have you been the kind of friend you are looking to have? And are they really the type of friends you are hoping to have? Expand your network. Host a neighborhood block party, join a local charitable organization. It’s going to take an investment if you want to get that sort of quality connection back. And yes, you’re going to have to hire help if you don’t have that network.[/quote]
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