Reply to Tips for having good relations with daughter-in-law & son-in-law

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Clear communication.  Don't assume any intention.

Help them with childcare etc.

When your own kid is doing something wrong, counsel them.

Include their relations - mom, dad etc - in celebrations.

Help them go on date nights.

Help in getting their domestic chores done. ie - pay for a house cleaner or a lawn maintainence guy after taking the input from them.

Don't gossip about them.

Have your own life.

[/quote]

Be a (TRULY) helpful and positive force - don't be one to "keep notes" with your bridge partners (ie: "nasty DIL comments"). Don't be persnickety or hold a grudge about how bad you think you had it (admitting it or not).

If you have a DIL that loves your son and treats him well, be grateful - don't make inaccurate assumptions about the new DIL in your life. Maybe her chose her because she is opposite you, and that is okay.

I know MIL's who literally gave birth in a hallway (military, and they did not rank) - and held it against their future DIL (the DIL who wasn't even in the picture at the time, obviously); or MIL's whose husbands treated them as bumbling idiots, so the MIL took it out on the future DIL. Note to MIL: your DIL is not you, and your grudges are not for her. Talk to your husband about it, not your future DIL - a little communication goes a loooooong way.

Be helpful, but overly involved. Be there for the grandchildren. DIL's know that terrible moms make bad grandmothers - it is obvious. [/quote]

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