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[quote=Anonymous]I could probably count on one hand the number of times I’ve felt mom guilt; my kids are 10, 8, and 6.

I’m a psychologist by training, and have experienced working with traumatized kids and adults.  I know what true maltreatment is, and that helps establish a baseline.  My parenting gets nowhere near that level, but because I know what it looks like, I can also relax that I’m not harming my kids.

I firmly believe in the concept of the good-enough mother.  I don’t need to meet my children’s every need, as long as I’m (mostly) warm, responsive, and present.  I try hard to be those things as much as possible, and let the rest go.

I know my strengths as a parent (see above).  I’m a terrific listener, very empathic, great at calming my kids when they need it.  Am I super at doing crafts with my kids?  No.  Throw the most elaborate birthday parties ever?  Also no.  But I know what I do well, I think that what I do well matters most for my kids’ development, and I’m satisfied with that.

I’m also pretty comfortable with myself as a person.  I know who I am.  I accept that I’m human and I don’t have unrealistic expectations of myself.  I’m a good friend.  All of those things help me to be a more grounded parent.  And at the end of the day, mom guilt almost never means productive change.  For example, I lost my temper at the kids this morning, which is rare for me.  I calmed down, apologized to them, and figured out what the proximal cause was and am going to change that in the future (no more checking work email before my workday starts).

Anyway.  I hope something in there is helpful.  :)[/quote]

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