Reply to when were inlaws allowed to see baby?

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[quote=Anonymous]I had a baby in may 2021, which in terms of pandemic times was admittedly an ok time as folks were starting to get vaccinated and at the time they were working for current variants. I had a NICU baby, not preemie but was in the NICU for difficulty breathing, fluid in lungs etc for 4 days or so. Anyway at that time both sets of grandparents saw baby right away. It is totally fine to put boundaries for you as the recovering mother, and I would also encourage you to consider your relationship over time and kind of setting a good foundation for a positive grandparent relationship so that means both being comfortable setting boundaries as you need to, AND being considerate of grandparents excitement and joy. Since it’s your first you won’t have this full perspective yet but after having my first I felt like I better understood all the grandparents, thinking about what it would be like for me when my son has a child. Anyway, being considerate does not mean putting your needs aside, but it’s a part of the equation.

Fwiw I have had many, many friends have babies over the pandemic and all have let their parents meet baby quite quickly, depending on variants and timing sometimes with a covid test, but even those that gave birth in May 2020 grandparents met baby. My sister is an OB and gave birth in December 2021, we all met baby first week. Everyone is vaccinated. I mention she is an OB just because it seems relevant, she has been working throughout all of this so risk tolerance may be higher but she also has a good sense of things from her work. I January when omicron was raging we all saw each other but covid tested before.

Part of this may be communicating how they can help YOU the mom when they come to visit. Ideally their visit shouldn’t just be about meeting the baby, but mostly about bringing you all food, washing dishes, running errands. Staying in a separate Airbnb is a reasonable boundary to give you space but allow them to see baby. One thing I didn’t fully understand before my first (may 2021 baby was my second) was just how important my in laws would be to my sons. They adore them and their relationship with them is very important to me now that I’ve had a few years to adjust to parenthood. So, just sharing that perspective. They should certainly give you space, and I’d also try to give them grace that they are excited for one of the most joyous things in their life outside of birthing their own kids, their son having his first child. [/quote]

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