Reply to If you had an “oops/surprise” baby & ended up with your significant other/married, how is it going

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Reply to "If you had an “oops/surprise” baby & ended up with your significant other/married, how is it going"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Got pregnant in early 30s almost 5 years ago. We had been together for quite a few years prior but were actually broken up at the time. I told him he could be involved or not. He choose to be involved, we've been together since.

Sometimes it is really hard. I dont think we are "meant" for each other but we both want to make it work, which IMO is 75% of the battle in a relationship. We have been through a lot in 10 years more than some marriages go through in 20 or 30 years. I dont necessarily want to be with someone else- truly I would rather not be in a committed relationship at all. It is easier financially to stay together and we genuinely have good times together. I dont know what will be left of our relationships when our child is older though but I dont think that is a problem specific to, or arising  from, our relationship origin. [/quote]

You've reduced marriages greater than 20 and 30 years as less than to your 10 year “don’t know what will be left once child is older” fling with “baby daddy.”  [/quote]

No I am saying that we know couple who have been together for 20-30 years and have been through less bullshit than our relationship. Unemployment, underemployment, mental health, aging parent, dementia parent, had to take in a parent and provide care, autoimmune disease, organ transplant. Most of the couple who are married we know are blindsided when something bad happens and struggle because it isnt this perfect version of life theyve been living previously disappears.

It is unknown whether the amount of crap weve been through will make us stronger in the end or be the demise. Baby daddy relationship or not.

Stop taking everything so personally. I answered the question in the OP. [/quote]

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