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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Help me be happy for my friend, and not feel so sorry for myself.   I hate feeling like this, but haven't been able to shake the feeling since they started looking a few months ago.  I want to be able to go over there without feeling bitter..... worry that I'm going to ruin our friendship by pulling away because I feel like this.....

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I think there are two parts to this.  The first is to not feel sorry for yourself.  Have you done things to fix up what you have or is it in limbo because you plan to sell in a few years?  Once we committed to fixing up the place we have and trying to resolve the space/ poor layout issues I was not only too busy to envy other people but it helped me be more satisfied with what I have.  Not to say I would turn down the HGTV dream home should I win, but there isn't anything more space would give me but more clutter and cleaning.  I can go visit someone that has a huge house and feel happy for them, but know my home fits my needs.  Take a page from NY apartments where space is really at a premium and see what clever designs, layout and storage are used.

The second part of this is possibly feelinglike your friend choosing something different is not a rejection or reflection of your choices.  There is sort of this unspoken tension when someone that you believe is the same situation makes a different choice.  You mention homes in your neighborhood and get, pause, "oh we were really looking for homes in x school pyramid" or, something about the house size, amenities, or community.  It hard not to feel like chopped liver.  I'll never forget one time when people at work were saying something about living in a house and made some reference to kids living in an apartment, as if they were the unwashed, and a co-worker had to put people in check and say I grew up in an apartment, we didn't move to a house till I was older, and I went to college - what are you trying to say?  I'm not saying your friend is like that, but I can see how it could put tension in the relationship.  If you are satisfied with your situation, it would be easier to be happy with your friend but you could feel like you don't have as much in common depending on how your friend talks about the house hunt or conversely doesn't really talk about it because they fear you being envious.

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