Reply to 40-year-old man in a 1BR condo

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Reply to "40-year-old man in a 1BR condo – problem?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Nope. Better than then roommate rental situation my friends found their husband's in.

I actually see the paid off mortgage as a plus - you and your spouse should be able to put a much larger down payment down when you're ready.[/quote]

OP doesn’t want to get married. He’s married to his mom. [/quote]

NP. Classic DCUM never disappoints and is always so very consistent. A man says he spends time at his parents' house, with zero details, and before the first page is done, we have:

"He''s married to his mom"

"You sound enmeshed with your parents"

"You sound like a mama's boy"

...When OP said nothing about his relationship with them. At all. Only that he prefers SFHs and apparently yards/gardens. But this being, well, DCUM, people immediately either project their own negative biases onto him or they decide every question Must Be Pathologized. For all we know, he has the positive relationship with his parents that so many DWs here complain they wish their DHs had and it's not being "enmeshed" or a "mama's boy."

What almost all of you missed, except for one person above, is that OP needs to be careful re: when he has the "I'm not interested in marriage" mention. Much bigger deal to the women he dates--whether they want marriage or not! OP, are you interested in commitment, just not marriage? Are you like my friend's long-term BF, where they are definitely a couple but do not live together, never have lived together, and neither wants to get married? (NO, sweet DCUM-ers, the woman does not secretly long for a ring and a gown; she does not want to marry, but yes, they are a committed couple). Or OP, are you not interested in commitment either, just casual dating and sex? That's fine if that's your goal. It's not a first-date discussion, of course, but by saying you don't "lead with it" do you mean you wait until -- when? I hope you're clear with women about it sooner rather than later if you are not looking for marriage and/or a long-term exclusive relationship.

But THAT, and not the condo, and certainly not the parents, is what stood out to me.

By the way, the condo sounds perfectly fine. Nothing to put any woman off there. As someone posted above, if you get into an LTR and it extends to living together/buying a house together, you'd be able to choose it as a couple. But just the condo itself instead of a house at 40? Not a problem.[/quote]

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