Reply to 9 year old sad about not having friends

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[quote=Anonymous]We have a similar problem with our 10yo 4th grader.  I have been wondering how much it is my own kid's personality, or maybe other things (or a combo).  I wonder about social delays (for her and her peers) due to Covid, how much is just the dynamics of this age/hormones, how much is the family-isolation caused by different Covid habits (and some families that really solidified friendships with ppl who lived nearby), etc.

One thing I've realized is that when we keep her busy, there is less time to dwell on it.  Could you sign her up for activities a few afternoons a week?  Love the Girl Scouts idea.  If she's not a soccer/basketball kid, you could consider local rock climbing classes, art classes, kids choirs, Girls on the Run (registration is going on right now, I think), religious youth groups, language classes, drama classes, musical instrument classes, etc.  It keeps her busy, teaches skills she can feel proud of, gives her something to talk/think about, tires her out, etc.  Of course, this fills time so gets in the way of playdates, but if those aren't working right now anyway, activities may be the better option.  And she may meet someone she connects with at the activities!

One other thing I've found is that our younger daughter has made good friends in the extended day program at her school.  It's a public school, so the group in before- and after-care is large, and she's really gravitated to a few kids who are not in her school section, so she wouldn't have befriended otherwise.  It's also made her feel more connected in school b/c she knows a broader group of kids in other grades.

Good luck - I feel your heartache.[/quote]

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