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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here.   Yes, I feel often like I cannot express my feeling about things with my parents, especially when it involves them.  I would not actually say the thing I wrote about the pool, I was just fantasizing about it.   I think about the actress Lena Dunham and how she seems like such an unpleasant person because she says exactly what she feels.  Like I said, she comes across as an un pleasant person I would never want to befriend.  That’s why i was asking in my original post if there is a kind way to do this.   I think my restaurant example went really well, actually.   I want to do more of that.   At the pool, I could say I need some quiet time.  ThTs probably what I’ll do.   We spend plenty of time together on this vacation but inevitably by asking my several times if I “want” to join her, I end up feeling guilt when I don’t.  I realize the guilt in entirely my own problem.  I don’t know how to let go of that either.  [/quote]

Kudos to you, OP, for clearly shutting down the waitress situation. You must release any guilt about stating your needs, and learn to own and state your preferences. Telling someone you need quiet time is not rude, it's stating a need. Personally, I do find it rude to separate myself too much when on vacation, but there are times I need space so I ask for it! "I need a bit of quiet time to recharge and am going to read by the pool, but let's chat later." [/quote]

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