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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.

A couple points of clarification- 1) I am going to therapy myself. I have asked multiple times to go together because I know I don't have all the parenting answers and because we have such different approaches (mine is nurturing, positive affirmation and the other person's is authoritarian and strict adherence to rules), I think an expert, unbiased third party would be so beneficial and help alleviate the confusion we're sowing on our young children. The response is "I have all the answers. I am the expert." So no place for compromise or concern about my feelings. 2) Children are young and I would never project my feelings of my spouse onto them. 100%. That is a terrible, awful idea and even if this goes south I will never speak poorly of that person in front of the kids. 3) NBP is diagnosable, but it's rare to actually get diagnosed with it. I get that. The term covert narcissism is a convenient term for someone who knows what I'm dealing with. For someone in therapy, I know it won't ever get diagnosed and I know there are issues around a label. But I drop it for sake of discussion. People fluctuate on a narcissistic spectrum- and arguably everyone is narcissistic to a degree for self preservation- but there is a spectrum. I know you can critique me here for armchair psychology but I'm trying to understand my situation. 4) This individual cannot take any level of criticism and will have fits frequently that are unprovoked. It's detrimental to have my children witness it. I agree there are likely anger issues, but when I say no empathy, for example, my child might fall and hurt his knee and the response will be "told ya you'd fall."

My gut feeling is that nothing will change and that even if I can get therapy for both of us, it'll be a long and tough process. I wanted to reach out to see if there is anyone who has gone through this or could share their experience. This has been a relatively new 'aha' moment and I'm trying to just hear more experiences if they exist or people feel comfortable sharing.[/quote]

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