Reply to Did You Wish For Certain Gender With Second Child?

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[quote=Anonymous]I had no preference either time, had a boy and a girl and planning on a third. I guess it's nice that we have one of each just because if we'd had a second boy, I'm sure we would have gotten lots of "oh, are you hoping for a girl?" when I'm pregnant with the third, and who needs that.

My husband wanted a girl both times, but was (and would have been) thrilled with either.

I will say I find preferences for this off-putting (though I appreciated my husband's honesty). Your kid is going to be your kid. Even outside of cases like trans kids (which happens, obviously) whatever you're hoping that having a "boy" or having a "girl" will mean for your life is no guarantee. Cute girly outfits? Lots of girls hate that. Close with mom? My mom is closer to my brother than me, though we're close, too. Lots of sports? Some boys hate sports, some girls love it. "It's nice to get one of each" - each what? There is no guaranteed girl or boy personality, all kids are different.

I do feel like if you dig deeper under the desire for a specific sex of child, you hit some sexism (or at least sex-based assumptions), no matter which one you prefer. Might be slight and benign, might be a bigger deal, but I do think it's there.

That being said, it's common, and usually not a big deal. [/quote]

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