Reply to Big Law and conspicuous shows of wealth

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Lots of Big Law folks here. Lots of money in Big Law.  I'm from an "old money" fiscally conservative family, so my question if more about culture than resources.  I have several friends (3) in Big Law who are quite showy, always buying gifts for me and my kids (and everyone else in their circle). Celebrations with them are always over the top. At times it makes me uncomfortable. I'm positive it makes some friends in our larger social circle uncomfortable. [b]It might come from a place of insecurity, I don't really know.[/b] These are very kind, smart folks, and I enjoy their company, but not necessarily this particular aspect of our friendship.  Should I just ignore it?  Give a subtle hint (if so, how)? If it is coming from a place of insecurity, I don't want to make that feeling worse.  For now, I do ignore it.[/quote]

Yes, for the people who feel uncomfortable, it mostly does come from insecurity.  If people want to have over the top parties, it's fine.  Doesn't mean you have to too.  I have a good friend who does this because it just makes her happy.  It's what she wants to do.  There is no hidden agenda or hidden insecurity, she just has the money and enjoys doing it.

Now, if there's gossip about it... like you throw a bady party for you daughter at your house and hear through the grapevine people are saying they can't believe you did that when everyone else is renting out kids' gyms for $1,000... poor Larla... that's another story.  But if they seem to enjoy it and don't expect anything in return, and are by all accounts good friends, let people be who they'll be.    [/quote]

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