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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]My son has struggled with ADHD and a disabling anxiety disorder that leaves him immobilized quite often. He, along with most kids with ADHD, is extremely bright and was identified as gifted early in his life (again, as many ADHD kids are). So it is, in fact, somewhat of a cruel situation that these 2e kids are often highly ambitious,  motivated and capable intellectually but also quite unable to "perform" according to normal standards. They can be labeled as underachievers and worse, which can harm their self esteem as well as their future opportunities, college choices among them. Hopefully my son and others in this situation will land on a profession that actually values the way their brains work and accommodates their ways of working. It will also likely get better when the prefrontal cortex is more developed by mid 20s (fingers crossed). My son (and other ADHD kids) can also hyperfocus on areas that they are highly competent in and are engaged with (in his case, science and math). I see him spending long hours in a science lab, for instance, not at a desk in an accounting office. I'm hoping he accepts accommodations in college but I know it's more difficult for college kids to advocate for themselves in that environment. That leaves parents (and kids) in a tough position going forward. [/quote]

Completely true.  It is a terrible irony that so many help mechanisms are actually in direct conflict with the very problems they are trying to address (actually seeking out therapy can be almost impossible for someone who is severely depressed; invoking and using ADHD accommodations, especially in college, requires a level of organization that defies many students' executive-functioning challenges).  Here are some ways, including quite involved ways, that I think families can help their ADHD college kids.  (Bear in mind, I have an ADHD DC and I teach college, but DC is too young to go to college yet, so I speak here as a professor but not quite yet as a college parent.)

1.  Make sure that DC's medical and neuropsych documentation is up-to-date and the relevant shareable information is comprehensible and accessible to DC.  (See if the intended college needs a new neuropsych, for example.)  Put copies of all of the documentation in a secure electronic place that you can access and share with DC so that new copies can be printed as needed.  Include contact information for providers and their offices, especially medication providers and therapists that you may still be using, and make sure that DC knows how to access help quickly, especially if mood swings or depression are an issue and DC still has a therapist "at home."

2.  Make sure that you and DC have signed together all of the necessary documents for HIPAA and FERPA so that you can participate in DC's healthcare and academic life as needed.  You can always choose to give DC lots more privacy, but you can't always get FERPA or HIPAA clearance immediately in an emergency.  Remember, however, not to abuse FERPA: this is not for calling professors, but rather for ensuring that if you need to connect with people you don't need to worry that anything is standing in your way.

3.  Develop a workflow and routine for medication management.  Does DC already take meds on schedule without reminders?  If not, choose an app or a calendar or a family texting plan to make sure this happens.  If the meds are especially important for DC's functioning, mood stability, or personal safety, and DC is very bad about taking them, make them take them on Facetime with you for the first few weeks, and make it non-negotiable.  This is not babying: executive functioning often suffers in new environments with new distractions, and the first few weeks of college are a critical time for everyone's adjustment, stabilization, and happiness.

4.  Learn how academic accommodation and personal support (including counseling) are handled at the college.  You can put the information about the relevant offices, including numbers and locations, into the electronic file I mentioned above in #1.  Then participate in the accommodation intake process * insofar as the college allows * .  As the family of a freshman, you have some access to conversations with the professionals who will be helping DC, at least before school starts.  Use that as a chance to learn about how supports are determined and implemented, how they are renewed, and what DC needs to do in order to invoke and use accommodations in classes.

* Bear in mind that accommodations may need to be renewed every semester between DC and the campus office, because DC will have new professors every semester. * At my institution, this means a student receives new documentation every semester to share with faculty.

5.  Check in with DC when classes start to make sure that they have notified all of their professors of their accommodations.  Ask how they intend to use them based on their experiences so far in each course.  Repeat each semester until DC has a general sense of what they need to do and can be trusted to do it.

6.  If you sense trouble, urge DC to visit the counseling center, accommodations office, or tutoring service * early *.  This isn't just for DC's sake (or yours): it is because these kinds of offices fill up with client loads and sometimes students have to wait to receive the assistance they need.  Midterm is when the stress tends to hit all students, and by then many of these services can be overflowing.  If DC is likely to be a regular client, they should plug in early in the semester even if things haven't gotten too hard yet.

My most successful ADHD students have had supportive families who set their goals high but also allowed the students to own their own mistakes.  Depression management has also been key: when the depression is under control, the ADHD has been infinitely less of a barrier.  I always try to get them to deal first with the former and then with the latter.

Best wishes to everyone.

- College prof and ADHD parent[/quote]

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