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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Absolutely first meeting. Don't ignore her. Ask about her, include her in conversations. But don't go overboard or interrogate her. More like, pretend she's someone you want to be friends with, not someone you're trying to parent.

I wasn't included until I was married and it did hurt my feelings a bit. We knew from day 1 that we'd get married and we wanted to spend holidays together and such. So make sure to extend an invitation to holidays, but let her know she's free to decline too.[/quote]

This is the kind of insight I need as I grew up in a different time in a different culture.[/quote]

I'm just curious but how was it different? Would you not include girlfriends in holidays or be friendly to them? Most people I know don't introduce boyfriends/girlfriends to their families until it's a bit more serious. [/quote]

It was an era of arranged match making, young marriages, joint families. It's changing even in India now but surely a completely alien universe for Indian-American youth. I feel us parents need to be more understanding and accepting of their life choices, instead of expecting them to adapt to lives lived on a different continent. [/quote]

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