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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. This is not BS. I actually ended up divorced because of this issue. While dating I find that men seem excited/interested in me being an overachiever in the beginning, but down the road it becomes an issue. It is as if [b]the idea of a career woman is great to them, but the reality is something they can’t handle. [/b]Examples include:

-resenting that I’m unwilling to relocate given this area is the epicenter of good jobs for me
-expecting prompt texts and drawn out conversation while I’m working
-dismissing my professional expertise (it’s in something that everyone interacts with like say being a doctor)
-advising me to not go for better opportunities
-getting annoyed that I am thoughtful and therefore have my own independent opinions
[/quote]

As someone who has the kind of marriage you want, I think you hit the nail on the head — he needs to have an understanding of the reality of the situation. You need someone fairly independent who wants the kinds of benefits you can deliver. Someone who sees marriage in terms of mutual respect.

I was very upfront and no BS about who I was in the first few dates, knowing that if it scared anyone away they weren’t the right fit. I’m very feminine in other ways and realized I had been attracting guys who wanted something more traditional. The career issue came up very early on with my now husband, and we discussed at length — I asked things like, how do you know that’s what you want? Did your mom work and how did she and your dad approach it? A guy who has thought about this stuff will have solid, thoughtful answers.[/quote]

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