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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP I hate to sound like the men on this board but are you also reasonably attractive? I know overachieving women who look amazing and overachieving women who don’t, and since both types of overachieving women are available, suitable men gravitate toward the more attractive.

So, as a successful woman with a great marriage, here’s my advice.

1. Find someone whose parents both had great careers. Men who saw their fathers and mothers as equals expect to live that way. Not saying others don’t, but there is a steeper learning curve. 
2. Don’t be in the same fields. You can’t both be CFOs because then tax season is miserable for both of you. You can’t both be Hill staff because then recess etc. happens at the same time. You have to find someone in a complimentary field not a competing field.
3. Have healthy boundaries with work. No one, man or woman, wants to be second place all day every day. No one wants their kids raised not knowing their parent.  This isn’t about your partner being “jealous” this is about being respectful of your partner. If you’re as good at your job as you think you are, they want you bad enough to know you will respond to all email after dinner (or whatever). 
4. Be interesting outside your job. This is so hard because jobs take up SO much time,  but a good marriage takes up even more. Remember that the day you retire you’re just someone who used to work at McKinsey, but you’re someone’s wife/mother until you die. [/quote]

OP here. Thanks for your perspective. I’m objectively physically attractive. Being “pretty” sometimes adds further challenges because men on dates are just lying and saying they want a career woman so they can sleep with me. I think the point about selecting men who’ve had a career mom is a good one. I’m black so that is something harder to find but not impossible.[/quote]

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