Reply to What does love yourself before you can find love mean?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I feel like this is an awful, dismissive, condescending thing that coupled people like to say to single people. Like, if you can't find love, it must be because you don't love yourself enough, or aren't *truly* happy on your own, or some BS like that (unlike us, because *we* must be more emotionally healthy than you, which is why *we* are partnered). Some people love themselves plenty, but still have a hard time meeting the right person.
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I’m a PP - single after divorcing 2 years ago.  Bring partnered isn’t more elevated than bring single.  Many people have sh&t relationships and are terrified to be by themselves - for the exact reason that they don’t love themselves.  [/quote]

Yes, I was also going to respond to the PP by saying that loving yourself isn't about being more worthy of finding love. Quite often, finding love can be dumb luck. This advice is about working on a healthy sense of self which puts you in the best position to have a happy, healthy relationship. I don't view it as dismissive or condescending at all. In fact, if you work on loving yourself as you are, you will realize that you deserve a relationship with someone who treats you with care and respect. That might actually make it harder to find a relationship. People with poor self-esteem always tend to be in relationships, as they feel incomplete without a partner. [/quote]

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