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[quote=Anonymous]I understand that the OP is asking for help with navigating the emotional side of this with her mother, and for that you have my profound sympathies.  I have been there and it is very difficult.

However, I would not rely on the lack of insurance and your mother's rule following nature to prevent her from driving.  Number one, as you note, she could just call and get insurance reinstated *without telling you* - and you would be surprised how capable a person with cognitive decline can be if they suddenly decide that they want to do something.  Number two, she could stop seeing the lack of insurance as a barrier to driving, due to her cognitive changes.  We've all seen people with cognitive damage do things that seemed surprising or out of character, so relying on her rule-following tendency is not sufficient.

I know you don't want to fight about it, or be mean, or take something away from her.  I've been there, and I've had to take the keys away, even though my relative was not willing to consider using other modes of transportation.  It is incredibly difficult, and it is not going to feel good for you emotionally.  My best advice is to find a secret way to disable the car as a back up to prevent her from driving.  Remove the battery - if a car hasn't been driven in a while the battery can die, even in a new car (this is actually what happened with my elderly relative's car).  Take it in for service and then don't bring it back.  Say there's a recall and they need the part but supply chain/chip shortage/whatever.  If you're not comfortable lying then just say "mom, I love you but you're not a safe driver and I'm not bringing the car back."

None of these options are easy but you need to make absolutely sure she can't drive the car again.  The stakes are too high.  I know two people who were hit by elderly drivers who shouldn't have been on the road.  One, an adult, had multiple surgeries and will never walk straight again, and the other, a child, was in the hospital for weeks and will probably never play sports.  I know it is very painful to take away the keys, but when you weigh it in comparison to the life long damage an unsafe driver can do, you need to be courageous and do the right thing.

And finally, if that doesn't convince you, consider that if your mother decides to drive and hits someone without insurance, you will be paying for 100% of her expenses for the rest of her life because she will be bankrupted paying for the victim's medical bills.  [/quote]

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