Reply to Struggling After Best Friend Breakup...When Will I Feel Better?

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Reply to "Struggling After Best Friend Breakup...When Will I Feel Better?"

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, I really sympathize with you because I've had a painful friend breakup which was just that, and it was over a misunderstanding. It really hurt me and I only conceptualized it as a breakup a long time afterwards.

I'm also someone who wants the deep connection and not just surface level, though I can appreciate the surface level and enjoy it to a point.

Here's what I have found. 
First, it's a numbers game. Like dating. I am extroverted so this comes easy to me but I chat up other moms on playgrounds, respond positively if someone talks to me.... Sometimes it clicks. Rarely, as it's random people. But sometimes you meet someone who e.g. clearly has the same parenting philosophy as you, or who is talking about things you care about and had the same views, or something.

Second, people change. They drift in and out of your life. People I was so close to, my bridesmaids: one, the friend of my childhood, is always nice and friendly but we are too different. One cut me off entirely and I don't know why, one is single and childless and too far away it's just too different. But one, who used to be flaky and always hard to get, has mellowed over the years, is proactive and wants to hang out and has always been a genuine and good person when we meet. And now is reciprocating all the overtures I made to her to hang out with her for so many years.

So don't cut off contact entirely. Mourn the loss of this relationship but no need to delete your ex of Facebook and block her on all sister media. You never know when life might have you reconnect. 
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