Reply to No win with visiting in laws. Who is wrong- who is right?

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Reply to "No win with visiting in laws. Who is wrong- who is right?"

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[quote=Anonymous]While it is inconsiderate, your husband is the one that is setting the rules.  He's the sibling of one of the relatives and he is not putting boundaries on the visits.

Since you've asked them to visit on weekends and they have objected, you and the kids should maintain your schedule and do whatever needs to get done on that routine.  It will also teach the kids, who are teens, how to manage their time.  If they want to spend time with fun aunt and uncle, then they need to get the homework done earlier.  You can tell your son to go do his homework in another room because he's distracted by aunt and uncle and not doing his work.  If he says that he feels like has to host them, tell him that they are family and do not need to be hosted.  If they do, then his father (your DH) can do it.

You need to have a discussion with your family and explain that the family routine should not be disrupted by their visits.  Explain to your husband that since his sibling and spouse do not want to change their habits, that he needs to be responsible for them when they visit.  If they need to be hosted, he has to do it.  Otherwise, the kids and you have a schedule to maintain on weekdays and you are done with trying to accommodate their visits and disrupting the family schedule, exhausting the kids, etc.  So let him deal with his sibling.  If your daughter was arguing about going to bed, tell her she'll have to visit with them next time and that she needs to get her rest.  If aunt and uncle are too loud after kids go to bed, you ask them to please quiet down as the kids have gone to bed.  Since your DH is the one allowing them to break household boundaries, let him be the one responsible for them when they do.[/quote]

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