Reply to My mother just told me that she will pray that God will strike me down and that I will die

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Reply to "My mother just told me that she will pray that God will strike me down and that I will die"

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[quote=Anonymous]Oh OP, this is so hard. And it’s going to get so much harder.

Part of the process I think is that you have to grieve your mother now, in many ways. She’s just not the same person. She can still be a person you love and care for, and you can and still will have moments of joy and connection through this person to the mother you loved. But she’s going to do and say awful things and you have to find a way to not hear them as coming from your mom, the person you knew.

The denial is so powerful, and it really does serve a good purpose. It helps the person feel like themselves, more of the time. It would be unbearable to be sitting there knowing you have Alzheimer’s and so I really think many people’s brains just…won’t. It’s like auto-medicine. But most of the negative side effects  of that are borne by the caregivers. Because a lot of the anxiety and fear and sadness about their decline will get redirected.

The denial will tangle with waves of anxiety and rage coming from the disease and create some of the worst days (evenings, probably) of your life.

Your family needs and deserves a healthy, safe home. YOUR FAMILY NEEDS AND DESERVES A HEALTHY, SAFE HOME. It doesn’t have to be happy all the time and it can have some really hard moments, but it has to be healthy and safe. That may or may not mean your mom can stay with you until the end.

Also keep an eye on your marriage. Even if you can afford home health aides, turning your home into a work place is a whole other ball of stress. It may not be possible. Do the best you can, for as long as you can. Definitely counseling for everyone as much as possible. You, kids, you as a couple. [/quote]

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