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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]One of my greatest regrets is that I probably won't be around to watch when all of you are MILs.  That would be fun.[/quote]

This the kind of thing my dad (who is an abusive jerk) used to say to us when we stood up to him as kids: "I can't wait until you have kids and you find out I was right."

That's not how it worked out, and he's had to eat some serious crow.

There's really no excuse for being unkind, overly critical, meddling, etc. as an MIL. Sure, it might be tempting to do those things because the relationship to your children's spouses is unique and can be hard to adjust to. But people don't dislike their MILs (or FILs, as a PP mentioned) because they are simply ungrateful or don't understand how hard it is to be in this situation. sometimes they dislike them because their ILs are awful.

My experience is that when you can clearly articulate what is wrong with a relationship, you are far less likely to repeat it. So while I get along fine with my MIL, there are things she does that drive me nuts, and I think my ability to see and articulate those things make it less likely I'll be like that. Just like my ability to identify my dad's abuse and explain it helped me become a different kind of parent.

The "oh you'd do the exact same terrible thing in my situation" explanation is the response of a coward who can't take responsibility for their own actions.[/quote]

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