Reply to How to deal with poor gift-giving skills

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "How to deal with poor gift-giving skills"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Can you give us an example op?[/quote]

He bought me this cat brooch made of gold with little rubies for eyes.  I don't ever wear brooches and it is ugly (not to mention expensive).

This winter he surprised the family with a ski trip to Vail.  No one else in the family likes to ski.  But it was expensive and prepaid so we went.

Last year for my birthday he surprised me (and the kids) with another expensive weekend getaway -- to NYC to see some Broadway shows.  I don't enjoy musical theater and neither do the kids.

I could go on...[/quote]

I get that these aren’t gifts you would’ve chosen for yourself d you wish he’d take your interests into consideration. That’s fair. But have you ever gotten him a gift like this? Apparently he’s into musicals and skiing. Have you ever given him the gift of a surprise ski trip or weekend trip to see some Broadway shows? Maybe he’s giving it because that’s the only way he gets it. He might be trying to connect and do something he enjoys as a family, hoping that someone else will pick up and enjoy his hobby or interest as well. It doesn’t sound exactly selfish, more like misguided. [/quote]

OP here.  Honestly we have everything we need and can always buy what we want.  We're very fortunate, I realize.  But as a consequence I don't really believe in giving gifts to my spouse.  If he wants something, he buys it.  And with the kids I favor very limited gifts for Xmas, but am more generous for b-days.

[/quote]

Op your husband is a gift giver; that is his love language. Honor it. [/quote]

Seriously. I highly recommend reading the love language book and trying to be more grateful. This is important to your spouse and they are good activities to broaden any kids horizons, vacations aren’t always about doing exactly what kids like but also giving them experiences of a variety of things. I think it would be totally ok to say hey I love that you want to go on vacation and I know you like surprises but I’d love to participate in choosing the destination next time when it’s such a big expense. Or come up with some boundaries for surprise vacations so he can still do it within reason. But this is clearly how he shows Love so even though you don’t like gifts, for the sake of your marriage, I would try to rethink your approach to never doing something like this yourself or at a minimum being glad your husband is so thoughtful in wanting to plan family getaways.  [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics