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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
1.[b] "Forgiveness" is really about doing whatever it takes to preserve your mental health and lead you to healing. Vengeance may be satisfying in the short-term, but the main thing is to move on and be happy, in whichever way you can. When people move on, with the passage of time, they find that they are amenable to forgiving their tormentors. Personally as a biologist, I think it's just some physiological function of our brains, that our memories dim past pain, like the pain of childbirth, and that hazy memories help us forgive.[/b]

2. I don't think we should ever forget or forgive institutional abuse. Something as deliberate and planned as the Holocaust, or something unplanned but still terrible like the abuse of children by priests. The only way to make sure it doesn't happen again is to legislate, enforce laws and guard against hate.

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I agree that “forgiveness” can mean just finding peace in your brain, but I strongly disagree that sexual abuse, especially by a family member, is remotely akin to the pain of childbirth. At least for now, pregnancy and childbirth are risks knowingly undertaken, generally speaking with only short term pain and a delightful outcome (again, all generalities; I am aware that birth violence is real and that not every mother gets to take home a living, healthy baby), plus a whole evolutionary cocktail of hormones to help with the forgetting. It’s godawful in the short term, but there’s a reason for the pain.

Sexual violence? There’s no point for any of that. There’s no reason a child should be hurt physically, mentally and spiritually. There is no consent, there is no positive outcome. There is just a child who will be damaged and left to solve this trauma her or himself. The damage doesn’t dim, the memories do not become hazy. It is a crime and it is inexcusable.

If “forgiveness” helps a survivor of sexual abuse find peace, have at it! But frankly I can only hope that the perpetrators are held responsible in this realm and burn off their sins in hell until they are cleansed of the damage they did. 
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