Reply to Giving into whining when you're in the wrong?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
I would not have given the dessert if it would have made me late - I detest being late. I detest whining. Perhaps my kids were never the whining sort, or I nipped it in the bud ferociously enough, but it was never a problem. My kids know they can ask for many favors, and that I'll bend over backwards to make their lives pleasant. However when I say NO, it means no. There's no pushback when they see I'm in *that* mood. So far we haven't had a problem with this dynamic, and my kids are 11 and 16 :-)
[/quote]

Why is it more important that “no means no” instead of forgetting to provide something you said you would? To me you’re not reliable unless it’s both. Everyone forget and makes mistakes, but a trustworthy person would try to make up for forgetting a promise.[/quote]

PP you replied to.[b] I don't see it that way. I will provide the dessert, I will apologize (wasn't that obvious in my response?), but what's more important is that my children understand life gets in the way, and that their needs don't trump other people's. If we need to get somewhere, we will drop everything to get there. Dessert comes afterward. [/b]

And there is absolutely no whining in my house, otherwise all bets are off (but that was never an issue).

I have a great relationship of trust with my now tween and teen, so apparently my method has worked all these years.
[/quote]

DP. I’m ok with your approach, it’s actually good, but it’s the type of thing you need to be careful to not abuse. I see parents who use “parents are human” and “life gets in the way” as excuses to suck(not talking about you nor the OP), and this is what will trigger some posters.[/quote]

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