Reply to On "vacation" -- I want to throw DH's blackberry in the trash

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Does your DH's blackberry allow you to SAH? If so, do not complain.[/quote]

Really?  You think a husband gets a blank check regarding anything work related, because he makes enough money for her to have the privilege of staying at home?  Don't forget that she stays at home, which allows him to pursue his career path without having to juggle child care demands the other 50 weeks of the year.

OP, I have had those jobs and I have a wife who has one of those jobs.  My career involved incident response, which is 24x7 and fast turnaround, and it was global so there was no off peak time.  My wife's work is transaction related and involves negotiations with outside parties, who don't understand/care about vacation schedules.  It can be tough, and sometimes there are critical issues that come up during a vacation, which sucks.  But in general I would say this:

1.  Big unavoidable work emergencies come up.  But if there is one, you should know what it is and discuss as a couple how to handle it on vacation.

2.  DH should plan in advance of his vacations to have a backup cover the fast turn-around emergencies.  I start 1-2 weeks ahead in order to make sure they are up to speed on all projects.  No planning = no plan.

3.  Of course it's important to make sure that phone/email directs people to the backup.  A message like "I will have limited access to email/voicemail" lets people know that they need to seek someone else out for the emergency.  Having a backup does not good if clients/co-workers are unaware of his availability.

3.  He probably is going to need to have a block of time each day to clear out some stuff, whether it's reading or responding to mail.  But you should agree on a block of time for that to happen so that it does not intrude.  Right now my wife has one of these jobs, and we would set aside time each day where I would either take the kids and go somewhere (pool/playground) or designate naptime/after bed and that was the time she can clear out the inbox.

4.  Most important is that when he is with the family, he is fully present for the family.  The kids won't miss 2-3 hours a day of his absence.  But they rightfully get frustrated when he is not listening to them, all day long, because he is buried in his BB.  Putting boundaries on email is good for the kids, and frankly even at work it is important to get out of the habit of letting your inbox rule your schedule.[/quote]

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