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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. The gossip was half true. The other half I don’t know whether it was true or not. Let’s say it’s equal to saying someone is overweight behind their back, and they are in fact overweight. I feel my friend is entitled to be upset and not want to be friends with the gossiper. Personally as I get older, the less I care about stuff like this and just take the good with the bad. So I feel no need to end my years long friendship with the gossiper because I don’t care if she says bad things about me behind my back. People are human nobody’s perfect. But the mom who was gossiped about is very upset with the gossiper and the friend in the group who listened to the gossip. I’m just not sure if I should be upfront and say, hey I get your upset but FYI, I have plans to attend to continue being friends with everyone involved, and hangout with you all separately.[/quote]

This is all perfectly fine for you, OP, but I have another take on this.

The older I get, the less energy I have for people who aren’t kind to me. So if a so-called friend talked sh!t about my appearance (and definitely if they told unflattering lies about me), I’m thinking “I do not want to expend anymore of my time or energy on someone who treats me this way.” Why? I have friends and family who don’t go that crap. I’d rather focus my energy on them.

So if this happened in my friend group, I would be upset with the gossiper. Because she created this problem. Personally, I think it’s on her to fix it (apologize, set the record straight, etc.). Otherwise, I think the group is a bust because while you might want to stay friends with everyone, you friend who was hurt is likely thinking that maybe you guys aren’t even actually her friends. If you and the others value the group, you have to repair the broken trust or accept that the group is over.[/quote]

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