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[quote=Anonymous]Yea, women do more, including the mental load.

H is an awesome guy, comes from a huge family of almost all women, has 3 daughters, and is very feminist. But I can still see a difference in our mental attitudes.

For example, he'll offer to cook for half of the dinners for the week. Awesome. But he'll mark the pages in a cookbook of what he wants to make, so I still have to write out the grocery list, check what ingredients we already have, then go grocery shopping. Whereas if the roles were reversed, I would make sure to get the ingredients myself, or at the very least have the list ready for him.

Or, if I'm running late on a night I'm responsible for dinner, I'll still figure out a way to handle it - picking up takeout, making something quick & easy when I get home, etc. Whereas he'll just let me know "hey I'm running late and can't do dinner".

I know if I asked him to get takeout instead or to write a grocery list, he would. But the fact that he doesn't think to ask, while I just go ahead and handle it, I think shows the difference in how men vs women think about these things. Women are generally socialized to think about how their actions impact people and what they can do to minimize any negative impact, while men are socialized to just do what they want and if someone needs something, they can ask.

And I do totally understand that often it's on the person who needs something to go ahead and ask. But dang, it would be SO nice if I didn't need to ask, if someone was just considerate enough to take my needs into account without me having to verbalize it. 
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