Reply to If you had PPA, besides meds, what helped? What could family do?

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Reply to "If you had PPA, besides meds, what helped? What could family do?"

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You can't stop somebody from being a jerk. Pull back unless she asks for your help. [/quote]

She's asking for help.  She's not identifying it as PPA, but she's constantly saying it's overwhelming to have so many kids, and asking for help of some sort.  And her family steps up.  People are trying to help.

But she still has these meltdowns, and her kids get sucked in. So, for example, I think her child felt hurt that grandparents only came to her Nutcracker once and went to more soccer games.  Whereas I don't think that would have occurred to her on her own, that you're supposed to count soccer games vs. ballet performances.

[/quote]

That's not asking for help. That is whining. Asking for help would be "Is there any chance you are available to take my older kids off my hands for a couple hours sometime this week?" [/quote]

She does both things.  She asks for help with childcare, or transportation, or someone to come sit with the baby so she can take a nap, and someone jumps in the car and goes.  Or we offer.  We call and say "when are your kids off school?  Can I take them for the day to make Christmas cookies?" I think asking for help is a strength for her. Like she isn't letting her kids be neglected. She makes sure someone is there.  I think her anxiety impacts them in other ways, but I think that's something she deserves credit for.

The example I gave is an example of what I think of as anxiety.  She's misinterpreting things and then getting upset.  I don't think a person without anxiety would look at the situation I gave and think it means that grandparents don't love her children. But she really does see it that way.  I think that's the illness.  Of course you'd be upset if you thought your parents didn't love your children.  But I don't think a rational parent could look at what I described and come to that conclusion.  Her kid had, at a minimum, 3 family members at every performance.  That's not a neglected child.  [/quote]

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