Reply to I finally set a boundary with in laws and they made me feel bad

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How far is the drive? Are they trying to avoid traffic? This is such a small potatoes thing you're looking for a reason to be mad and found one. Invite them in then tell them you need to "freshen up" and spend some alone time in your room.[/quote]

There is no traffic on tbe drive 
I don’t want to hide in my room. I want to use my house to get ready for them and for Christmas. I think it is reasonable when you have guests to ask them to arrive at a certain time on Christmas Eve. People have things to prepare [/quote]

OP, no one is questioning the boundary you set. It was 1000% reasonable. The responses you are getting are not questioning that. They are, instead, focused on these two things:
—You choosing to respond to MIL’s rude comment and feel guilty. Stop. 
—Being prepared for more comments that will likely come.

You can’t change the fact that she was rude or that she has a different opinion about when she should arrive. Stop focusing on that. Instead focus on what you can change and control: How you respond. That’s it. [/quote]

True. 
Part of this is that they have done this for years. I think it is quite stressful to arrive early when you are invited somewhere and I do resent it. It feels like you are saying to your host - I don’t respect your plans/ needs/ time - I dunno. This is really the first time I made a point to set the boundary bc I am trying to protect my own ability to do all the things and actually enjoy the holiday. You are all right that the work is in not letting it get to me but it is hard - she is a v nice person but this disregard for others schedules has always stressed me out a lot[/quote]

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