Reply to The problem with dating in my 30s

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[quote=Anonymous]OP here.

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Not all guys like thin.  I don’t want fat, but I have zero attraction to thin woman.    My point is checking off your boxes of what you assume man wants isn’t going to get you anywhere.

You need to focus on what you want not what you have going for you.  Let him decide if what you have going for you checks his boxes.[/quote]

I think she was trying to preemptively counter the jerks on this site to ask women if they’re fat.[/quote]

Yes, this. Same reason why I pre-empted with the comment about my career and job. I was fully expecting to be met with "just don't be fat" comments and "men care about looks, not your career." I'm thin but not waiflike, FWIW. About 5'5, 118. Really into fitness. Stable, middle class income though not career OBSESSED... I can support myself and not looking for a man to pay all my bills. I am hoping for a life partner, and I do have a feminine, nurturing side if I try not to let my cynicism overtake my demeanor.

[quote]What kinds of guys are you dating OP[/quote]

Guys that are adults, have their lives together, are fun and interesting and kind, that I am attracted to.

I just feel that when a man is reasonably attractive and normal (not overly introverted and awkward), and appears to be interested in more than a hookup, then there is some kind of a catch or a reason why they aren't taken. Mainly because of the ratio of eligible men to women in this area. There are of course plenty of single men between 30 and 45, but about 75% of them are either taking bathroom mirror selfies or, even if reasonably attractive, are extremely socially awkward and apparently have no friends (even if they've lived here for 10+ years) and rarely leave their basements and computer screens. If you are into East Asian/South Asian men who work in tech and spend their days gaming or programming and never see the light of day, then the dating market is all yours. (Nothing against Asian men, it's the basement/24-7 screen time lifestyle that I find incompatible, and this is the demographic that comes up the most among single men). When I come across someone who does seem to have a life outside of work and computer screens, I wonder why they arent' snatched up by someone younger.[/quote]

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