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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You need to make them be a team. Ours fight too (of course!) but they are pretty cute together.  usually we just remove ourselves and make them figure it out. In your park example I suppose you could do what a PP suggested or you could say super casually “oh kids, we are going to a park in an hour, you two figure out where we should go.” Then walk away. When they squabble, casually say “you guys are good at solving problems. I know you will figure it out.” Then leave again.

This works for all sorts of compromise situations. Sometimes you will have to broker “hmm sounds like you really can’t agree… hmm… what could we do…” if they still can’t offer a solution you could either say you will pick for them or you can help them figure out taking turns.

One thing we also learned in siblings without rivalry or peaceful siblings is to never have them race each other - we make it kids vs parents but never kid vs kid. They are a team. [/quote]

This seems like good advice.

FWIW, I only have one kid but I do give choices like you do (broccoli or spinach). I do it for the same reasons you do—high intensity kid who needs to be involved to feel heard. With 2 kids, the PP directly above offers a way to still give a choice, but bond them in the process. I imagine it would be difficult the first few times, but they’ll get the hang of it. 
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