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Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)
Reply to "Do women pick spouses similar to their fathers and men similar to their mothers?"
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[quote=Anonymous]I was extremely close to my dad, but married my mother. He’s a neat freak that can’t sit still or relax. He always has to be doing something. He nags kids and me. I now see it’s a trauma response. My mom and her three brothers are all like this because their mom passed away when they were very young. My mom was 6. They were kept busy to avoid dealing with their emotions and in the 40s/50s people were not encouraged to express them. My husband came from a volatile household with an alcoholic, philandering father and his parents had a messy divorce and his mother then became cold and wrapped up in her own single social life. He learned to be a perfectionist due to this. This is a realization it took two decades for me to see. Pretty much, right after my dad passed away. I am exactly like my dad, I can relax and find the good I the messy and don’t nitpick. I am big on emotions with my kids, very empathetic to a fault. [/quote]
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