Reply to Making SAHM get job to pay for private school

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How can I force this issue or am I in the wrong? I am sole breadwinner, make about 500k so money isn't an issue but wife wants our 2 kids to go to private school for middle and high school. The school is about 30k per year. That's about $700k I'm pre tax money and not counting college.

I went to public school my whole life, including a good state school so my tuition from kindergarten through end of grad school was about the cost of one year of this middle school, combined.  I think private school is a waste, unless you are in a bad school district or your kid has unique needs.

Leaving aside I could retire several years earlier if we sent the kids to the good, local public school, I feel my wife has lost the sense of what a dollar is. She isn't a spendthrift on other areas. I feel like if this is so important, then she can work with basically every penny she earns going to pay tuition.

How do I raise this without blowing things up?[/quote]

Um, this is so one time at band camp, in the 80s or 90s. .

It's 2021.  A whole lot has changed!  Kids can't just waltz out of public school into good colleges with lots of safeties anymore.  Kids are getting into NO college.  Public schools have changed too.  And you earn enough to pay for private.  Private high school is maybe 3,000/month.  There is a sibling discount.  That's roughly the same cost as daycare for middle class folk, or cost of nanny.  Just stop spending cash on stupid toys and cars or whatever, and redirect those funds toward your kids future.  [/quote]
Your entire post is bizarre, PP.  High-performing kids at good publics have excellent options for college, even though college admissions are much more competitive now than in the 80s.  My kids attended a good public and one is at a HYPSM and the other a top 20, and they were as at least as well-prepared as their private school peers. Same story with their friends from HS. And kids don’t end up failing to get into any college unless they make serious mistakes in the selection or application process.

OP, you need to have a talk with your wife about your financial goals and expectations concerning the kids and family. I do tend to agree with you that it’s hard to justify paying for private school if you are in a good public district in the absence of a special need for the kids. I certainly wouldn’t want to do it if it’s just a keeping up with the Joneses scenario. But I also think it makes no sense for you to just tell your wife to get a job if she wants this so much. That’s not a thoughtful approach. The two of you need to act as a team on this and all major life decisions, and you are clearly not engaging in the communication necessary to get there. [/quote]

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