Reply to Staying after our if wedlock baby and judgment

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[quote=Anonymous]OP, my DH cheated (no kids, thank God) but one of the things I *obsessed* about in the first year after it happened was what other women would think about me. I could not stop feeling ashamed for staying. But thank God I did because my marriage and my husband are fantastic now and I hate the thought that I might have given it all up.

Honestly, what I realized through counseling is that the obsession with how people will think of you is just your mistrust, vulnerability, and insecurity talking. What you're doing asking this question on DCUM (where you're going to get flamed) is torturing yourself - plain and simple. It won't help. In fact, if anything, if you are trying to stay and work it out, you're sabotaging that process by purposely freaking yourself out.

It really doesn't matter what anyone thinks of you. Your real friends will love and support you no matter what and in time, after you've made real progress dealing with the very difficult emotions that accompany infidelity, you seriously won't give a darn what anyone else thinks. It's not their life. It's yours.

Good luck.[/quote]

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