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[quote=Anonymous]Mega problem with my teen and this due to mental health issues and extremely low income. She FINALLY got busted and it was terrifying. I took my damn sweet time to go pick her up. The next day when she was at school, I cleaned her room out, took everything that was stolen and threw away/donated, left only a small selection of clothing and makeup. Pretty much stripped her room and confiscated digital. I got the idea from a woman on here who had an out of control daughter. She is also grounded for two months.

My kids was totally furious for two weeks, it was super hard. Then started calming down. I slowly reintroduced items by having her do a chore or something to "earn" them back. The chores were a mix of easy and medium hard, e.g. watch a movie with me on the sofa (she rarely does that anymore). We would cuddle a bit and the day after I would say, "Great job yesterday, do you want to pick a makeup piece to have back?".

I think stripping her room and all entertainment (I did get a home phone and after ten days let her talk to friends at night - just on the cell phone) was kind of traumatic, but I did hear her say to her psychiatrist that it made things a bit easier in a way.

My DD has ADD and it was diagnosed late, as often happens with girls. She sadly has very low self-esteem as a result. The ADHD meds help a lot, however she has OCD due to her extreme anxiety (I read most OCD is a coping skill for anxiety). DBT therapy is very good, for kids and adults, to learn healthy coping skills. She told me that shoplifting was an OCD behavior, it wasn't just about having no money. Getting caught shook her up, but we'll see how much.

I told her that I will be inspecting her room everyday and whenever I see something stolen, it will be donated or thrown in the garbage. I have a list of things she can do to earn a bit of money.

Lastly, her psychiatrist suggested I sign her up for DC Pass. It's a program for at-risk kids. They get a case worker who comes to check on them 1-3x a week, checks in with teachers/school, etc. Like a mix of a parent, police officer, and big brother/sister. I guess like a nice probation officer. I'm really excited to see how that works out.

In the end, lots of therapy (including group, DBT, etc.) is primordal. Give them a super private, safe space to explore their feelings and learn to communicate better. [/quote]

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