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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Our kid uses "they" and a preferred name with friends/outside the house, but keeps their old name/pronoun with us.  I think it's to hold onto a familiar identity as they explore new identity outside.  We used the new name/pronoun for awhile but then shifted when relatives visited and then they didn't ask to go back to it.  So I think there's a whole range--not just keeping it secret from family.  [/quote]

Same here.  By not making a big fuss about her desired pronoun, using it for a bit and then forgetting, I bought myself a free pass by saying she is the same person to me, no matter what, but I called her she for so long its not likely I can retrain to perfection. She saw I was being honest, and then kind of decided to let me call her she. I then ask when we went to new doctors for example if its ok to just go with she, like if they don't have an option on their form otherwise, which they often do not.

She said she feels like doctors are clearly dealing with a female body when she comes in so its doesn't matter if they call her she.

I definitely believe not trying to control it while also being honest has worked best for us. We support her exploration of this non binary identity and she in turn gives a little by letting us still call her she. My husband (her stepdad) was actually way better at making the transition, and manages they about 50% of the time.

So OP, don't make assumptions about how parents are dealing with their children based on pronoun usage. We all do something different. [/quote]

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